Trying again here! And special thanks to Elijah for humoring me with more pictures.
Details: Cindersmoke Shawl in Cascade 220 from dear Corina.
I just finished reading Life Disrupted: Getting Real About Chronic Illness in Your Twenties and Thirties. I found the last section, regarding relationships, the most useful. Though what I could really use right now is resources on parenting chronically ill children. So if anyone has suggestions there, please pass them along.
In her chapter about what she terms “Meltdown Mode”, she talks about how she could handle a seemingly endless barge of medical interventions, pain, and life threatening emergencies with grace and aplomb, only to break down, crying hysterically upon finding the wrong type of salad dressing in her take out bag. On top of everything else to have some basic simple thing go wrong…you think, “I can’t even have this work out?!?” It feels like a slap in the face. I get it. I’ve thought it. I’ve done it.
And we all of us have our different break-down issues. She goes on to say that her chronically ill father tends to lose it over waiting in lines or vague and confusing instruction manuals. For me, I’ve come to see that clothing is a falling apart issue for me. It’s hard enough to have the energy to get out the door, factor in corralling and organizing five children, and then to be faced with having nothing to wear that fits right or is comfortable or appropriate as well? Too much. I think that was kind of what I was trying to say with this post. And why this project, which may seem frivolous and silly to some, is so important to me.
A very happy Thanksgiving to those of you in the US. And I hope that all of you, everywhere, have a great many things to be happy for today. love, Melody
I’m loving the shawl you made with the yarn I sent. It couldn’t have been used for a better project!
I feel for you with all the illness going on in your family.
My son almost died when he was five and still has to take medicine every day for the heart aneurysm he got from the disease, so I understand some of the stress you are feeling. He is now 12 and doing well.
Sending virtual hugs your way. Sometimes, life just feels to darn hard. Thank goodness for knitting therapy!
Yes! One day I spilled food on myself while cooking so I went downstairs to change. The sweater I wanted to wear was still wet from the laundry so I burst into tears and climbed into bed, completely abandoning dinner and my family. when your body is an uncomfortable thing to wear you really need your clothes to work.
I love that shawl! I keep pinning things like that with a lot of texture. It looks so cozy and classy at the same time. Well done.
I understand this completely – both the chronic pain “not even this can work out??” meltdowns, and in regards to clothing in particular. I hate tight fitting, clingy, or revealing clothing, but I’m only 27, so the very few clothes I can find that fit that in my size are downright matronly and make me look way older than I am! My wardrobe is 100% things that I bought because they fit, not because I like them or find them comfortable.
That’s actually why I came to your site today. I am a long time reader but infrequent commenter (though I’m intending to change that), and haven’t checked by often since I started going back to school. I remembered that you were sewing your clothes, though, and that I always liked your style, so I was very excited to see this as the first post! I’ve decided to go ahead and sew my own outfits. It’s funny how excited I am about it verses my normal reactions to clothing. There’s something empowering in deciding to tackle something yourself instead of settling.
Also, that shawl is gorgeous, and your entire outfit here is lovely! You look great. Thank you for sharing!
I hope you have been able to make some connections with others dealing with chronic illness–I know a friend of mine who is disabled from lyme has found her online lyme support community so helpful. One of the blessings of technology… (not that we have a lot of time for it as mamas).
The shawl is so beautiful! I love that pattern!